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"How the fuck did the Construction Men do this? They're shit builders!"
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"This looks dangerous. Admiral, fire the red lazers."
~ Captain Cuck
Born in the Brightlepean Union during the 42,000th civil war for freedom, Melvin Cuck never really amounted to anything until he won a contest to become captain of garbage vessel HMS Redundant for one day. Unfortunately during Captain Cuck's first trip to space Kemp-Town the planet exploded, killing Admiral Gripweed along with all the rest of the crew of the ship. This explosion caused the vessel to be flung across the galaxy into the far reaches of space Croydon, a desolate and lonely expanse located 70,000 lightyears from the nearest civilization.

When Melvin was just a child he was subjected to rigorous testing by his parents and because of this he can no longer hear the letters G C S and E together without recalling the countless hours he spent trying to remember which number came first, 7 or 6823.

Captain Cuck hates his name and even requested to the Brightlepean Union to change it, but their formal response read "lol no, fuck you cuckboiiii", which greatly angered Captain Cuck and forced him to blast 12 of his crew into space.

Captain Cuck worked closely with Admiral Gripweed before his death on the Eleventy-Second of Spacetember and it is because of this he finds it incredibly difficult to get along with Holographic Gripweed, the Captain even went as far as to say "I was brought up by a very traditional family who voted Brightxit, if I were to accept Gripweed as a human, let alone a friend, I'd be letting down everybody who ever cared for me. Oooh look, a crayon."


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