"If you're watching this, please save us."
~ Ed Fuck
Born and raised in Mexico, Eduardo 'Busty Brunettes Club' Carajo, is a newscaster who currently resides in Daniel Brighton and works for the BBC.
Eduardo was raised by his mother and father in Mexico City, although his father sadly died when Eduardo was eleven in a freak accident involving suffocation and a busty brunette. His unorthodox middle name stems from his late fathers desire for him to carry on the family business, however once it was discovered that Eduardo had eloped with best friend Mario, it was clear to his mother that he had no interest in doing so. As a result he was exiled from his home and forced to leave his loving husband and live alone in the city of Daniel Brighton.
Upon his arrival, Eduardo was escorted to the BBC studios due to confusion about his name and although he had no experience in reporting news, took the job without question as he thought he may be able to communicate with Mario using subliminal messaging (apparently Eduardo doesn't understand that the BBC doesn't broadcast to Mexico).
Eduardo's arrival in the city unfortunately coincided with a great period of racism across the world, and he realized he had to live his life under a new, less Mexican, family friendly name, Ed Fuck (no relation to DI Fuck) and assume the disguise of an 18 year old white boy.
By 2001, Ed had now become a senior correspondent working alongside the likes of the famous Billy P. Journaliste on stories such as whatever Bruce Forsyth had for breakfast that day. It was during this partnership that the two worked on what was meant to be the best documentary ever made, "2001, Year Of Fun", which in a twist of irony was ruined by a major terrorist attack on some city in the middle of nowhere. Desperate to keep his hard-earned job, Ed blamed Journaliste for the entire thing, leaving him hated by every single living thing in the observable universe while Ed got off scot-free.
Ed makes a brief appearance as a BBC presenter bringing the news to DI Fuck on his one and only day off that the citizens of Daniel Brighton are in turmoil, and he must return if any order is to be restored. We can tell in this episode that even Ed Fuck himself has been emotionally damaged by the events, as he refers to the news station as, and we quote Ed directly here, "Channel 15 Fucking News Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck. Fuck Off." Fortunately, Ed did not lose his job for this, as the rest of the BBC news team were in too much anguish themselves to notice. That day really was fucking chaos.